Robert B. Marks (garwulf) wrote,
Robert B. Marks
garwulf

An open letter to the makers of South Park regarding the misrepresentation of Canada

Dear Matt and Trey,

I have been a Canadian fan of your show since its first season, but I cannot remain silent after this most recent episode’s blatant misrepresentation of our great country and culture.

First, Canada does not have a President.  It has a Prime Minister, who is not elected but appointed by the Prince of Canada, and anointed with the sacred maple syrup upon his inauguration.

Second, Canadians do not play music at a designated time every day.  Instead, we engage in an interpretive dance recalling the founding of our great country and the awesomeness of our glorious Inuit, and the wonders of their laser eyes.

Third, no Canadian could ever bring him or herself to live in a simple house.  Our culture forbids the use of dwellings that do not at least bear a resemblance to an igloo.  Any Canadian family in the United States would be required by our cultural heritage to have their house rebuilt into the shape of an igloo.

Fourth, Canadians would never build a concrete wall preventing Americans from entering our great country.  We would make it out of ice, with igloo decorations.

Fifth, for all your talk of the really cool things in Canada, you have shown none of them throughout the entire run of your series.  How can you not show our annual Running of the Polar Bears?  Yes, it has been condemned by the United Nations as being inhumane to every living thing involved, but Canada could not truly be Canada without it.  How can you present our glorious Inuit without their laser eyes?  And how can you, in good conscience, continue to depict our cities as boring and dull – like your American cities – and without their many igloo skyscrapers, igloo shopping malls, and igloo cathedrals?

Shame on you, Matt and Trey.  Shame.  If you must continue to present Canada on screen to your viewers, please make at least some effort to be accurate.
Tags: south park
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